Skip to main content

All these things...

Things I thought were so far away.  My grandma bought me this shweater (I'm putting it up because it's one of my favs right now...from A Pea in the Pod) when she was visiting this past June.  I remember strapping on that big velcro belly in the store (yes.), showing she and my mom, and thinking...When the heck will I be this big?  What will it feel like?  Will this actually happen?  And now, this belly.  I've got this belly.  It's just there.  So tight and present.  And this baby, she moves.  I couldn't feel her move back then.  She's really there.  So much time has passed.  And we've worked through all these crazy feelings and emotions.  We've come to such a new place from where we were just months ago.  We've been really blessed with a supportive family and a really supportive group of friends.  People who have let us talk through things and helped us and are still helping us.  People constantly telling us that we're not the ones in charge.  And not in a bad way.  Can I tell you the joy of having friends who are honest and gentle at the same time?  Please find some if you don't have them.  Please.  

So, my back hurts now.  Every day.  You should see the awesome ways I contort my posture to make it better.  But it's temporary.  And physical.  And other than that, to be honest, things don't feel as hard as they did months ago.   They feel maybe a little scary, a little new, a little surprising...but they don't feel so hard.  You know when I wrote about that lag time a while back?  When things were harder?  I'm happy to say that I really think it has been shorter this time.  That things have felt appropriately hard, but incredibly joyful at the same time.  I'm definitely still mourning certain things.  The desire to have had more years of marriage before kids.  The desire to stay home with my kids right away (I'll be back in school this summer).  Partially, the desire to have it "all together" at this point (and honestly, when does that really happen? :).  But, it's a joy to work through things with God.  To know that this is all part of it.  It's all part of the gospel...the whole reason it's there in the first place.  That you'll come out a little closer to God and a little more refined on the other side.


  1. Colleen, you have such an inspiring and beautiful way of writing your thoughts. Your outlook is such a positive way of looking at many things. I find it very comforting. Thanks for sharing! I've become a total "Pink Holidaze" addict!! Was it not inevitable that you would paint Eloise's room pink when your blog has the word "pink" in it?

  2. Thanks so much, Ali!! You're so sweet. And the pink does seem inevitable...I'm going to end up bringing in some gray accents per your pink/gray stripe suggestion a while back!! :) Umm...also, I think you should start blogging again. :)

  3. Oh man, I don't know what I would blog about. Those last two posts on my blog were for a job application...and they were not great posts. So, I think I would need to find a focus before giving it a go again. Though I definitely appreciate the encouragement!!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stocking time!

So, I know not everyone is ready for the holidays, but if we’ve been friends for any amount of time, you’re probably aware of my Christmas obsession.  Plus, the addition of kid number three right before the holidays/feeling essentially miserable being this pregnant have given me motivation to get things done early. Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care (yay for having a mantle!) already, and we'll be putting up our tree tonight (first artificial tree ever for me - still not quite sure how I feel about it...).  I’m working some kind of combo fall/Christmas tablescape in the dining room since we’ll be hosting Thanksgiving here, but otherwise it's all Christmas, all the time.  Anyways, the point is that I’ve had a lot of people ask about our stockings over the past few years, and I thought I’d  take the opportunity to provide the information, as well as some other adorable options.  Maybe it will cut down on shopping time for even just a few of you?

Here’s our set-up a…

Current clothing faves.

Regular blogging, she said, right?  Whoops.  Seriously...I'm trying.  I swear I'll get more consistent.  Anyways...  
Madewell is killing me right now.  The idea of spending more on maternity clothes that won't fit in three months is too much to stand, but I am still running out of stuff to wear, so I decided to try some things on the in the store recently (Holla - store close to home!) and holy cow, they are winning this season.  Madewell is one of those brands that I find doesn't look as cute on the website or hangers as it does in person.  Here were my favorites...Some outer layers to wear over maternity tanks and tees and then a few other tops that can expand. 

This long cardigan.  I typically don't wear long cardigans because of my height, but this one seems to work - I think it must be the weight.  

Look at this you guys.  You are wearing a sweatshirt.  But you look like you are wearing a structured jacket.  BOOM. 

This shirt is incredible. Works with a belly, bu…

The move.

We've had some questions over the past few weeks as to how the adjustment is going for us.   And I kept meaning to write about it earlier, so here we go.  With a smattering of very high quality photos (kidding). 
Overall, we are doing well.  This is not to say we don't miss people, that everything is absolutely wonderful all the time, etc.   Change is really hard, but it is so good, and so stretching for our lives and our faith.  So, good is my overall answer.

Eloise at the Circle. 
For those of you who don't know the whole story of our move, I'll give you the shortest version possible.  Last fall, Zach was offered a hospital medicine job in Southern Illinois (he had been working at his old engineering job the first few months after graduation from PA school).  This decision was made after much deliberation and prayer and applications were sent out just about everywhere (seriously - we were open to anywhere).  The job in Southern Illinois made the most sense and we de…