Skip to main content

These days.

I've got to take a study break.  Seriously.  I haven't even gotten that far and I'm going psycho.
But, on a happy note, I canNOT believe my first year of PA school is almost done.  If I pass all my exams (I sure hope I can after all this work) and make it through the next two weeks, I'm on to 14 months of clinicals starting in June (we only go to clinic four hours a week at this point).  The amount of material we've been given this year is mind-boggling.  Literally.  My head is spinning every day and I have dreams about diabetes and failing exams.  But in retrospect, the year has gone fast (okay, the days are really slow).  And soon, I will forget that school was ever this hard.  So, moving on to trusting God for making it through the next year.  

Did I ever tell you all about Eloise going to daycare?  Since January, she's been going to daycare each day and it was so hard at first (not because of the place, but leaving her somewhere new), but it's gotten to the point where she rarely cries when we leave her and sometimes cries when we pick her up (they've got good toys and lots of slides).  It's still hard some days (there's not a day that I don't miss her like crazy), but despite that, she's made fun little friends (she even gives high-five to another little girl :), has learned a lot (songs, sign language, skills), has become quite social, and has a very consistent schedule that she seems to thrive on.  We can still pick her up early if we're done early or keep her out if we're off, but I love that she has a place to go where she feels loved and comfortable.  If any of you ever have trouble leaving your little ones, I'd be glad to comfort you.  

And I do not think that by any means I've gotten a grasp on the great balance of motherhood and school.  Blubbering mess would better describe me this year.  But, I have learned the joys of making the most of my time with my little one.  Taking her to the park every chance I get, even if it's just for a minute.  Making trips to the grocery store a fun event together.  Playing peek-a-boo while I dry my hair.  Taking a walk outside together or putting her to bed each night.  Because those times are such sweet gifts, and often sweeter when I've had a bad day.  I've learned that balance sometimes mean sacrificing a few points on an exam for an hour of cuddling, and that sleep is not always as necessary as I thought.  And that's okay.  I was talking to a mom of three the other day and she asked how I was balancing things.  I said, "Okay.  Barely."  And she said something to the effect that sometimes okay and barely were just fine.  I think that's so freeing.  And so sweet.  Because it's really true.  Sometimes I feel weighed down by the pressures of everything.  I want to be a good student.  A good mom.  A good wife, friend, and daughter.  I want to be a good witness.  To be secure and teachable at the same time.  And, I want my hair to be done and my clothes to be ironed.  I want my house clean and my dishes washed.  But there's just no way.  I flat out can't.  And I know God doesn't expect this of me.  Because then I don't need His help.  And that response is so graciously what I believe He would give - "It's alright, Colleen.  Sometimes barely and okay are just fine."


  1. Oh, Colleen. I just love you. Loved this post and your honest heart. You are a rock star in my book. I tell you that a lot, but you are. You are making it happen, sister ... and teaching everyone around you in the process. I think you are doing just fine - okay and barely and everything else. You're making it happen.

    Love you. xo


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stocking time!

So, I know not everyone is ready for the holidays, but if we’ve been friends for any amount of time, you’re probably aware of my Christmas obsession.  Plus, the addition of kid number three right before the holidays/feeling essentially miserable being this pregnant have given me motivation to get things done early. Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care (yay for having a mantle!) already, and we'll be putting up our tree tonight (first artificial tree ever for me - still not quite sure how I feel about it...).  I’m working some kind of combo fall/Christmas tablescape in the dining room since we’ll be hosting Thanksgiving here, but otherwise it's all Christmas, all the time.  Anyways, the point is that I’ve had a lot of people ask about our stockings over the past few years, and I thought I’d  take the opportunity to provide the information, as well as some other adorable options.  Maybe it will cut down on shopping time for even just a few of you?

Here’s our set-up a…

Current clothing faves.

Regular blogging, she said, right?  Whoops.  Seriously...I'm trying.  I swear I'll get more consistent.  Anyways...  
Madewell is killing me right now.  The idea of spending more on maternity clothes that won't fit in three months is too much to stand, but I am still running out of stuff to wear, so I decided to try some things on the in the store recently (Holla - store close to home!) and holy cow, they are winning this season.  Madewell is one of those brands that I find doesn't look as cute on the website or hangers as it does in person.  Here were my favorites...Some outer layers to wear over maternity tanks and tees and then a few other tops that can expand. 

This long cardigan.  I typically don't wear long cardigans because of my height, but this one seems to work - I think it must be the weight.  

Look at this you guys.  You are wearing a sweatshirt.  But you look like you are wearing a structured jacket.  BOOM. 

This shirt is incredible. Works with a belly, bu…

The move.

We've had some questions over the past few weeks as to how the adjustment is going for us.   And I kept meaning to write about it earlier, so here we go.  With a smattering of very high quality photos (kidding). 
Overall, we are doing well.  This is not to say we don't miss people, that everything is absolutely wonderful all the time, etc.   Change is really hard, but it is so good, and so stretching for our lives and our faith.  So, good is my overall answer.

Eloise at the Circle. 
For those of you who don't know the whole story of our move, I'll give you the shortest version possible.  Last fall, Zach was offered a hospital medicine job in Southern Illinois (he had been working at his old engineering job the first few months after graduation from PA school).  This decision was made after much deliberation and prayer and applications were sent out just about everywhere (seriously - we were open to anywhere).  The job in Southern Illinois made the most sense and we de…