I'm not always a huge fan of bible verse prints. The actual prints. I'm a fan of the verses. :) This one, though, is awesome. I love the fonts. I want it on our wall. And I think it's a good verse to be reminded of right now.
I am on a break from school, so here I write. {I started writing this post last Wednsday. Now it is Monday. eeks. } I really have been taking the past four months one. day. at a time. Learning that tomorrow really will "care for itself." God is teaching me that. When I fail to take on that perspective, I end up looking ahead at all the things to be done, ending up overwhelmed and discouraged. Then it just goes downhill. I wish I could say life with school has become oh, so easy. It hasn't. It has gotten increasingly easier, though. Most definitely. And I'm okay with that. It simply is the way it is. PA school is hard and time-consuming. I've never heard anything different from anyone who's been through it. And it is a wee bit lonely, studying so much. I miss seeing and talking to lots of friends. I would like to spend the evenings free of responsibility, hanging out with Eloise and Zach. I miss attending many of our church things. But again, it is simply life right now. And it is very temporary. I am required to trust that God will continue to be faithful, that He will continue to increase my time and energy. He already has. I just finished my second set of exams. I found out I passed! I studied, and I studied, then I studied some more. I prayed a lot. And I still felt like I wasn't going to pass. But it happened. And I am now 40% through my first year. Which is just absolutely and utterly crazy.
Last break did amount to much of a real break. This time is a true time off, which allows me to regroup and reflect a little bit.
And in reflection, I find myself looking back to this time four years ago. In an attempt to be obedient to God, I had just moved back home and started taking classes. My prerequisites for PA school. I felt God was asking me to pursue medicine. I hadn't taken science classes in awhile, and I knew it was only going to be by His grace that I got through my first semester. To be honest, looking back, I don't think I believed He would follow through. I thought I would do terribly and have to come up with another plan. I loved the idea of the profession, but didn't think I could make it. But the classes were good. And not only did I get through them, I enjoyed the material. Amazingly, I enjoyed the studying, too. Something I didn't do enough of my first time in college. Maybe, just maybe this was going to work out.
I was also discouraged that I wouldn't meet anyone. Where on earth would I meet a man? Would I be lonely? Would I have friends? It just so happened that my bestest lovelies from high school happened to all be in town at the same time. Luckiest. And my family, who I'd missed terribly the last year. Then, a wonderful church home with wonderful people came into play. Plus, I met this guy in the fall. His name was Zach. And I thought he was pretty cool. Later that winter, he became my boyfriend. And a year and a half later, my husband.
Then I got through my prerequisites. I applied to PA school. I was convinced I would not get in. And not only was I convinced I would not get in the first year, but I was sure they would never let me in at all. But then, an interview and an acceptance. I still remember hearing the message on my parent's machine. And a jumping for joy. I was really going to do this. I was really going to get to do what I'd set out to do.
And, yes, a little detour along the way {she is named Eloise}. But really, truly I am now in the middle of doing what I felt God asked me to do almost five years ago. The final step in this long process. If I can take a step back from the stress, a step back from all the busyness and the daily grind, I can see that great faithfulness very clearly. This may be hard. I may complain and I may cry (a lot). p.s. I'm trying to improve that. If I can remember those things, I will feel my passion being restored. And alongside, the excitement of following His incredible and great adventure.
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