Saturday, July 23, 2011

Happy Six-Month Birthday, Eloise!

Dear Eloise Anne,

Well, sweet baby...your fifth month has come and gone.  So sorry I missed that update.  So here I am to get us back on track.  Two days ago you turned a whopping SIX months old!  I absolutely can't believe it.  My, how time has flown.  You are no longer this tiny, little baby (although technically you still are :).  You are an adorable, fun, interactive little girl.  

These past two months, your personality has really started to shine.  You love to laugh and make noises; most mornings your dad walks in to find you playing with your feet and talking to yourself.  I'm pretty sure you are going to LOVE to talk.  You think it is hilarious to stick out your tongue, especially if you can make little cackling noises at the same time.  And the only reason you like drinking water is because it enhances the ability to gurgle loudly.  You're so much fun to be around.  You grab (and kick!) absolutely everything is sight at this point, including forks off tables, books we read to you, and every single stuffed animal you own.  Oh, yes...and our faces.  Love the faces.  You've also found out how to coordinate both hands and grab with gusto!  I've been holding you up to your mobile recently and letting you grab the flying bunnies, and it seems you find incredible delight in finally being up close and personal with something you've been staring at the past five months.  I am not sure of your height and weight.  We will learn those at our appointment next week.  You have, for the most part, moved into nine month clothing.  You've begun to eat week you start veggies!

EA, going back to school these past few months has been the absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do.  School-wise, incredibly hard.  But leaving you, the absolute hardest.  I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss you when I'm gone.  It rips my heart out a little.  I  savor the time we have together as a family when I am home, and I'm (we all are) slowly trying to figure out a good balance.   You're taken very good care of everywhere you go.  I'm sure of that.  That is not my worry.  It's just the fact that I love you so much, and sometimes the fear of what we might miss together takes over.  

Chances are, when you're older, you will have to ask me who took care of you.  You might not remember.  I will tell you what a struggle it was for me.  But I will also tell you that what kept me going, sweet girl, is when I thought of the woman I wanted you to be, this is what came to mind.  It does not matter to me what you do.  Whether you stay at home with babes or are passionate about a career, nor at what age or point in life you decide those things.  I believe each one of those is noble.  What my hope is, though, is that you learn to love and desire God's plans for you.  That you would want be obedient to where He calls you, no matter what the task.  That is the kind of woman I want you to be.  And, thus, the example I desire to be.  That despite the odds and the emotion, you will know that He is faithful.  He follows through.  He is a trustworthy God.  And those are the most important things.  I am asking God to carry me through something right now that feels hard.   What I feel he has called me to, what he has laid out in front of me.  I am still your mother these next few years.  Despite the lies that creep in and tell me I am not.  I will still hold you in my arms each night.  I will tell you that I love you.  But overall, I will cling to the fact that there's someone else who loves you much, much more than I ever could.  More than you'll ever know.  During these next few years, Eloise, know that you are deeply, deeply loved.  I am sure of that.  And there is SO much joy to come.

I Love You,
Your mom 

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